Don't be over smart

wife was damn sure about the reln of her husband with her maid

so she planned to catch him red hand
oneday she secretly send her maid in holiday
her husband came eat n sleeped
at mid nyt whn he wake up for going toilet
she also wake up after he goes n secetly goen in maid room n sleeped the maid's bed
man came n fucked her n after the fucking was completed she turned to the man n told "I knew u had reln with the maid"
then the watchman in surprise n in afraid told mam u were here in the bed
MORAL::DONT B OVER SMART OR ELSE U GET FUCKED

Lie detecting robot

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner. DAD: Son, where were you today during school hours? SON: At school*Robot slaps Son* SON: OK,I went to the movies. DAD: Which one? SON: Toy Story*Robot slaps son again* SON: OK, it was paranormal 3. DAD: WHAT? When I was your age I wasnt even aloud to see scary movies until i was 18!*Robot slaps Dad* MOM: HAHA! After all he's your son.*Robot slaps mom*

Who is the boss?

3 Parrots

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw
three identical parrots in a cage.

He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?

ner said it was Rs. 2500.
"Rs. 2500.", the man said. "Well what does he do?
"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.
"He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."

The man then asked what the second parrot cost.

The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,

but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.
The clerk replied, "Rs. 10,000."
Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was.
The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.

But the other two call him "BOSS

value of a dot

VALUE OF A DOT.

A girl got 1st class in B.ED exam
Her excited Boyfriend sent SMS 2 girl's father.
'Uncle..Ur daughter is first class in BED'

Function of brain

Human brain is the most outstanding object in world

It functions 24hrs a day, 365days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born, and stop
only when we enter the examination hall

How many chickens?

Two West Virginians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey, Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?" 

"Jus' some chickens."

"If I guess how many there are, can I have one?"

"I'll give you both of them."

"OK. Ummmmm......, five?"

Queen's Ass

A servant enrolled his donkey in a race & won. Local paper read: 'SERVANT's ASS WON'.

king was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the servant to get rid of the donkey. ...
He gave the donkey to the queen.
The local paper then read: "QUEEN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN". The king fainted. Queen sold the donkey to a farmer for... $10.
Next day paper read: "QUEEN SELLS HER ASS FOR $10".
This was too much, KING ordered the queen to buy back the donkey & leave it in the jungle.
The next day Headlines: "QUEEN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD & FREE" The king died next day.

George Bush and the Queen

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.

Bush asks how she knows if they’re intelligent.

“I do so by asking them the right questions,” says the Queen. “Allow me to demonstrate.”

Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, “Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?”

Tony Blair responds, “It’s me, ma’am.”

“Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir,” says the Queen. She hangs up and says, “Did you get that, Mr. Bush?”

Bush nods: “Yes ma’am. Thanks a lot. I’ll definitely be using that!”

Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he’d better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, “Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me.”

“Why, of course, sir. What’s on your mind?”

Bush poses the question: “Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

Helms hems and haws and finally asks, “Can I think about it and get back to you?”

Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.

“Now look here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

Powell answers immediately, “It’s me, of course.”

Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, “I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It’s Colin Powell!”

And Bush replies in disgust, “Wrong, you dumb shit, it’s Tony Blair!”

What did the elephant say?

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?

Cute angry secretary

The Cute Secretary came angrily out of boss cabin..

Here friend asked what happened?

Secretary: He asked are you free tonight??

I said ya... and that rascal gave me 50 pages to type!

Energetic man

 A man 80 years of age married a young lady. A year later he carried her to the hospital, and she had a baby. The nurse said to the man: ‘At your age, how do you do that?’
The man answered: ‘You just have to keep the motor running’.
Another year passes, and the man carries her back to the hospital, another baby. The same nurse said to the man and asked: ‘You are something else, how do you do that?’.
He said: ‘I told you that you just have to keep the motor running’. Another year and back to the hospital for another baby. The same nurse said: ‘You are unbelieveable, how do you do that?!’.
He said: ‘You got to keep the motor running’.
She answered: ‘Well, you better change oil, because this one came out black’.

How about a phone call

 A man & his wife agreed that any time they wanted to make love they would call it a ''PHONE CALL''

One day the husband send his son to tell his mother that he wanted a ''phone call'..... Mom replied tell daddy she doesn't have network...

Husband: Tell your mother if there is no network I will go to public phone...

Mother: Tell your dad if he dares to go 2 public phone i will open call centre at home!

Who loves whom???

Hero lovs heroine, but heroine lovs d villain.
But villain lovs hero’s sister,& hero’s sister lovs heroine’s brother
Here, heroine’s brother lovs villain’s sister
But villain’s sister lovs hero’s brother.

......Again!, hero’s brother is also interested in heroine, & U already know dat heroine lovs villain.

Finally two people commit suicide.

Who’re they?
.
Producer and the Director! :))

How about a surprise

  kid: "Mom, I want a baby brother", "Ask your father".
"No mom! We shud give him a surprise!"

Love is not important!

 All say that love is more important than money..
Have u ever tried paying ur bill with a hug.. ?